


to live in hearts we leave behind

by bemynewobsession



Series: Femslash February '19 (DIFFERENT FANDOMS) [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 09:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17722976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bemynewobsession/pseuds/bemynewobsession
Summary: Jemma is barely coping with the loss of Bobbi





	to live in hearts we leave behind

**Author's Note:**

> Femslash February 2019 Prompt: Lost

It had been a little over a month  ~~ one month, eight days, six hours, and 23 minutes ~~ since the team had lost the battle against Hydra. Since the team had lost  _ her.  _ Jemma choked at the thought of her blonde teammate. She could scarcely stand to think of the woman’s name, much less say it out loud or talk to anyone about it. 

Jemma felt almost selfish in the way she was pushing everyone away and crying at the drop of a hat. Daisy and Fitz in particular didn’t deserve her anger. She didn’t have the right to be acting like she was the only one who cared what happened. It’s like Jemma and  _ her  _ had been girlfriends or partners or anything.

Jemma breathed out shakily and took a large swig of her beer.  _ Her  _ favorite beer. The hazy forgetfulness that accompanied drunkenness was Jemma’s only refuge from her own punishing thoughts. A voice piercing through the silence jolted Jemma from her solitary woe.

“Simmons?” It was Daisy. The younger woman walked up to the island where Jemma sat and placed a tentative hand on her back.

“Simmons. We’re getting close to that Hydra stronghold. We need you to be at least notionally sober.” Jemma rolled her eyes and took another large swig before hopping down from her stool, stumbling slightly as her feet hit the ground.

“‘m fine Schkye.” Jemma slurred out. Daisy grimaced. “Yeah Simmons, you seem great.”

Jemma wobbled her way to the door, intent on heading for the lab on the Bus. Daisy’s voice gave her a momentary pause. “Simmons, you know Bobbi wouldn’t have wanted you to lose yourself like this.” Jemma felt her eyes well up unbidden with tears and squeezed them shut before retorting.

“Well she isn’t here. Now is she?”

 

It was another six hours before they landed in the stronghold. Jemma’s part of the mission, as always, was to stay back in the lab to prep for any casualties. 

She stood with the rest of the team waiting for Coulson to brief them. His steady words settled over everyone. “Remember. This mission is covert. Meant only to gather intel. Stay low and stay safe. You all know what your jobs are.”

Jemma nodded and turned to wait in the lab. She hopped up on one of the beds and took out a tablet of data to analyze. After half an hour, Mack’s tinny voice echoed over the radio.

“Coulson, we found a prisoner here. Beaten up badly. Do I have permission to abandon the current mission and bring her back?” “Mack why would you abando-” Daisy interrupted Coulson before he could finish.

“Sir. It’s Bobbi. We found Bobbi.” Jemma sprang to her feet, her heart leaping into her throat. 

“Dammit. Mack, Daisy forget your intel mission. Your primary mission now is to bring Agent Morse back to the Bus safely.”

Jemma’s heart was pounding. Her pulse rushed in her ears. She picked up her own radio to stammer “Daisy. Is it really?” “Yeah Jemma. It’s her.”

Jemma covered her mouth so as to not cry out in joy. Daisy’s voice echoed over the radio again. “But she’s hurt pretty damn bad Simmons. Her leg was obviously rebroken and I think they may have broken a finger or two as well. Prep for surgery.”

The lab assistants who were around the table scurried around prepping the area to receive Bobbi. Jemma shakily put a surgical glove on. A warm hand clapped her shoulder. Fitz.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright for this Jemma? You’ve been drinking. I could smell it on your breath during the briefing.”

Another surgical glove snapped onto Jemma’s other arm. “I’m the only one trained to do this Fitz. I have to. For her.”

It was then that Mack and Daisy came back onto the Bus, Mack was carrying a skinny blonde frame in his arms.  _ Oh God _ . Jemma thought immediately.

Bobbi had more than just a rebroken leg and a broken hand. Jemma’s medically trained eyes could tell at just a glance that the woman had been starved and beaten repeatedly. Her leg looked possibly gangrenous. Not to mention that she was  _ naked. _

Jemma forced herself to not have a panic attack.

 

The surgery took two hours on the Bus and another three back at HQ. They had been forced to amputate her right leg just above the knee and if Bobbi hadn’t been right-handed before, she certainly was now. 

Jemma sat with her head in her hands. It had been about twelve hours since the surgery had ended. Bobbi was going to be waking from the anaesthetic soon.

“S-simmons?” Bobbi’s voice was weak from underuse. “Bobbi!” Jemma sprung up and wrapped her arms around the blonde in front of her.

Bobbi groaned loudly, it was obvious that she was in a lot of pain. Jemma backed away immediately. “Oh, damn I’m sorry I-just-I” Jemma stammered and cursed herself internally for being so careless.

A gentle hand touched Jemma’s face, drawing her out of her internal self-flagellation. “It really is you. I’m not imagining things again.” Jemma’s heart broke at Bobbi’s fragile voice. Jemma reached up and touched Bobbi’s hand, clasping it closer to her face. She couldn’t help herself from turning her face and laying a soft kiss. 

Bobbi’s thumb wiped away at Jemma’s tears. Jemma felt an embarrassing whimper bubble forth from her mouth.

“You had to cut off my leg, didn’t you?” Jemma paused momentarily and looked up at the other woman in shock. “Yeah I thought so. I am so doped up right now I can’t feel anything, but I could tell my leg was pretty damn infected back there so…” Wide blue eyes met her own.

“Simmo-” “I thought I’d lost you!” Jemma couldn’t help her outburst. She turned her head away from Bobbi in embarrassment. “I mean,  _ we  _ thought  _ we’d  _ lost you.”

Jemma suddenly felt her face being pulled towards Bobbi’s. Warm lips touched hers just briefly before pulling away. “God. I’ve been aching to do that for forever. Almost dying will give you that kind of courage.”

The young scientist couldn’t help but lean forward and press her lips more firmly to the blonde woman in front of her. They both sucked in harsh breaths as the kiss became more heated. Jemma put out a hand to steady herself and accidentally pushed on a rib of Bobbi’s, abruptly ending the kiss and causing the woman in bed to throw her head back and hiss in pain.

“Sorry! Sorry.” Jemma immediately moved her hand to beside Bobbi’s hip, careful not to touch the woman anywhere where she was injured.

“S’okay. Not many places now where I’m not broken.” Bobbi let out a self-deprecating chuckle at her comment.

Jemma sighed softly, reaching up to push a lock of Bobbi's hair out of her face. The machine monitoring Bobbi’s vitals beeped out, letting the two women know that another dose of morphine was about to be pushed through Bobbi’s system.

They shared a peaceful silence for a pause. Bobbi’s hoarse voice broke the silence. “Jemma. You didn’t lose me okay? You aren’t going to any time soon either.” The blonde seemed to relax further into the bed, the morphine obviously beginning to make its effects known.

“Stay wi- me?” Bobbi’s words were a slurred whisper. Jemma barely got a nod in before Bobbi was asleep again.

Jemma leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on the sleeping woman’s forehead.

“You won’t lose me either Bobbi.”

Jemma swore Bobbi smiled slightly in her sleep.  

**Author's Note:**

> This one got a little out of control as far as word count so I had to stop actually so I could write more for other ships for this challenge. I may continue this storyline later after the next 25 ficlets. Follow me on tumblr @theodoracrain-s


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